We're home from Colorado - the delousing has commenced.
Because my good friend Samantha Kelly pseudo-requested to see more of our accommodations - I'll share a few final memories before closing this chapter.
Disgusting. Believe it or not, we were so beaten by our experience, we just left the cheese alone.
The Filthy Lamp
This pathetic lamp is illustrative of all accessories in the room, wallpaper, floor coverings, and general decor. It worked just fine though. ( See Honey, I can TOO be positive and "go with the flow".)
It listed to the right no matter what my OCD told me to do to correct it. Again, it worked just fine though. (Positive thoughts.)
We found what appeared to be a cocoon in the curtains. The photo doesn't show it very well, but trust me, something was growing in the black dot you see.
Just in case someone had any crazy ideas about where they should or should not hang their clothing...
We were fairly certain this was there because someone in the past had actually hung their clothing on the sprinkler. The room had to have been flooded at some point to smell as moldy as it did.
We were lounging in our rooms on SUNDAY afternoon (NOT Friday or Saturday night), trying to touch as few surfaces as possible, when we heard "thump, thump, thump, etc..." and the roaring of motorcycles and souped-up cars. We pushed back our curtain, careful not to disturb the wildlife, to find a raging, midlife crisis party occurring at our hotel pool. Very tan people, in very few clothes, were head-bobbing to the music, trying to look sex-ay. Men with stretch marks on their too tan arms with tribal armband tattoos, tummy's sucked-in, chest's pushed out, 27 hairs slicked back. Women with thin arms and legs, giant boobs, too tan like the men, tiny bikinis to show the tattoos on the lower middle back, all teetering around in high, high heels and ankle bracelets. Most of these people were at least my age, but a few were young and could have legitimately starred in real dirty movies. (JUST being descriptive with most of this - not judgmental - mostly.)
Chris called the front desk and found out that this hotel in an effort to "serve the community" throws a little "function" on Sunday afternoons. It was supposed to end at 5:00, but they let "the community" party until almost 6:30. Like we weren't already having a hard time getting up the courage to get in the swimming pool.
When the people left - I think the humpers were hosed off - Chris went out to run an errand (probably to get more liquor and Lysol). This is how he found our front windshield...
I'm not saying anyone purposely shot at our windshield (a thought that crossed my mind that evening). It's possible someone, in an effort to leave the parking lot looking cool, spun their tires in a way that accidentally threw a stone.
Our immune systems are boosted and we have a renewed appreciation for our home. I'm so happy we didn't find a bag of heroine or a dead body in the room. What to tell the children...