The five-year-old-boy is quasi-civilized now. Spring break and vacation options are growing more vast by the day. We decided to travel to Maui late-February, early-March, for our sons' spring break. I inventoried bathing suits, purchased basics for boys who have grown a freakish amount in the last six months and tried to put a positive spin on our return red-eye flight.
We woke the kids up very early on Sunday, February 26th and headed for the airport to catch our 6:30 a.m. flight to L.A. where we would board a plane to Maui. We were stoked!
And Then The Flight Was Delayed
Unfortunately, our flight was delayed by a couple of hours, resulting in us missing our connection in L.A. We sat in the LAX airport for almost nine hours and arrived in Maui late that night. We'd had a few tears and discussed how life is messy and we need to handle bumps in the road... better. We weren't feeling as stoked.
[Oldest Boy and Middle Boy hanging tough.]
[The Five-Year-Old-Boy became a Diva and would allow very few pictures to be taken from this point forward.]
And Then They Lost Our Luggage
Oldest Boy , a type 1 diabetic, had carry-on luggage with medical supplies and most of his clothes. The rest of us had nothing. Middle Boy  was able to borrow underwear and pajamas from his brother, but Chris and the five-year-old-boy had to rough it. I mortified my sons and guaranteed my husband wouldn't touch me that night, by wearing a pair of Oldest Boy's clean underwear [boxer briefs] and his Mickey Mouse t-shirt after showering.
And Then We Lost The Five-Year-Old-Boy
We were all tired, our rooms smelled funny, and Chris was on the phone with the airline trying to find our luggage. We'd been up for almost 24 hours and were disappointed that our plan to hit the beach the afternoon we arrived had failed. A travel day that long should have landed us in Australia... or on the moon.
When I got out of the shower near midnight, wearing my son's underwear and t-shirt, I walked from room to room assessing our situation. Husband on phone, older boys settling in... but no little boy. I went through our rooms again like the Tasmanian Devil and screamed at my husband, "How did YOU let this happen?" when it was evident the youngest Ross boy was gone.
Chris ran out a front door while the two older boys and I cried and opened balcony doors in piercing fear and disbelief.
The phone rang and someone had found our son roaming the halls and walked him to the lobby. In our arrival commotion he'd been locked out of our funny smelling rooms. He was missing for five minutes, but they were terrifying moments.
And Then We Hit The Beach... Finally
After a long night with only three hours of sleep, our child and our luggage found, and a call made to request a room change because of the smell and bad karma, we donned our own bathing suits and marched our white bodies to the beach. The day lifted our spirits. Maybe this vacation wouldn't suck!
And Then We Went To The Luau
If things had gone as planned, we would have arrived in Maui on time, had a leisurely first afternoon, a decent night's rest and been ready for the Luau I'd booked for the second night there. Although tired, we were excited to attend the show that had come highly recommended. The Luau was entertaining, the food was good and when a storm rolled in and it began to rain, ponchos were quickly distributed to 600 guests. The five-year-old-boy fell asleep in my lap towards the end of the evening, but he was content. What a nice vacation...
[Oldest Boy helping Middle Boy make the "Hang Loose" sign, not to be confused with the "Rock On" or "I love you," sign.]
And Then My Stomach Danced
Not in a cute or jolly way. Trouble was brewing. Big trouble. I looked across the table at Chris in panic. "Something's wrong. I'm going to be sick. Take him," I mouthed as I almost threw our sleeping child to Chris.
I willed my body to not explode in the bushes at the Luau [I still owe God a follow-up conversation -- I don't remember exactly what I promised] and the miracle continued until Chris managed to get our car to the front of the facility, driving over 600 people, and loaded our three boys and me into the car. "Drive fast," I said, "It's going to be bad." And out of the parking lot we screeched.
And Then I Threw Up
We didn't get far. Chris pulled over the first time right outside the Luau. Headlights from the cars behind us provided the perfect spotlight for my show. We continued to our hotel, Chris stopped the car when I gave the signal -- which was any movement or sound -- and our three sons remained reverent and stoic. Chris maneuvered our rental car as close to a hotel entrance as possible. Oldest Boy and Middle Boy escorted me to our room while Chris parked, pausing to cover me as I defiled the resort's beautiful landscaping along the way.
I made besties with the toilet and a bucket, Chris got all three boys in bed and promised them I would live.
"I think I need help," I said when Chris asked how I was doing.
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"
Chris made some phone calls and discovered all Urgent Care facilities were closed. The nearest hospital was 30 minutes away. He wanted to drive me there.
"We can't get the kids up. They've only had three hours of sleep. And we can't just leave them." I thought for a minute. "Put me in a cab."
"NO. You're crazy."
"Just give me my bucket and call a cab." I was serious and I thought it was the perfect solution.
The next twenty minutes are a blur.
And Then The Paramedics Arrived
To be continued...